Author: Leela McMullen
Disclaimer: Aww man, I don’t even own the FB box set, or a burn of the third disc since it didn’t work for some reason. Are you cruel enough to try and depress me further by suing me or something? *Works the Shigure eyes.*

Warnings: Haru’s POV, lemon, PWP, almost NCS, angst. Haru+Yuki.

A/N: I really like the Haru/Kyo pairing, but I had the image of Yuki’s asthma attack in my head and it wouldn’t go away. This is what ensued...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hate myself. I’ve done something unforgivable.

I was so scared. There was no one else around, and Yuki got so stressed that he changed, because of me. He was stressed because I was bothering him, as usual, trying to force my feelings on him. He hated it. And because of that, I changed. Then, he ran – well, scurried – and I lumbered after him, not sure what I could do for him, but knowing that I couldn’t just let him go.

Finally, he stopped trying to get away from me, and changed back, and he was Yuki again. But, it wasn’t because he stopped being stressed. It because he was having an attack, a serious asthma attack. I was so terrified that I think I was shocked back to myself. He looked so pitiful, lying there, gasping for breath that wouldn’t come. So, I grabbed him. I drew him into my arms so that our chests were pressed together, and I helped him breath. The rhythm of my lungs steadied his, and slowly, his breathing became normal.

I think… that was the first time he didn’t pull away from me – not that he had any choice. I held him in my arms, and he stayed there until two little tears slipped down his cheeks and onto my shoulder. I must have been in shock, because I couldn’t say or do anything, let alone try to take advantage of him and our mutually naked bodies.

But then… Then, he said it. He called me a stupid pervert along with a whole lot of other things, and each melted into the other, and I got so hurt and angry. I guess that’s when I went Black. I don’t remember what happened. I never do, but I can piece together the evidence.

I attacked him. I… I tried to rape him. I know this because when I came to, his body was scratched and there were bruises forming, and I was hard. The realization hit me, and I scrambled to my feet. He was staring at me, staring in fear, and I think it broke my heart. I turned and ran. There was nothing else I could do. I couldn’t face him.

I didn’t even realize where I was running until I collided with someone. It was Kyo. I’d unconsciously headed for Shigure’s house – Yuki’s home.

“Get off me, you idiot cow!” Kyo cried. “Why the hell are you naked?!”

I froze, staring down at him. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t admit what I’d done.

I think my fear must have shown in my face because he snarled at me, but then his features softened, just a little.

“Did that damn rat reject you again?” he asked. I still didn’t answer, and he began to look worried. “Haru?”

“Kyo…” I whispered, and then broke down in tears, sobbing into his neck.

He reached up and awkwardly put an arm around my shoulders. He had no idea what he was doing, but it helped that he even tried. Eventually, I cried myself out, and finally rolled off of him, drawing my knees up to my chest, self-consciously trying to hide my body.

“What happened, Haru?” Kyo asked. For the first time, he sounded genuinely concerned about me.

“I went Black,” I answered, afraid to say more and hoping that he wouldn’t ask.

But, of course, he did.

“And what did you do?”

I could tell that he already had suspicions. I felt so afraid. My cheeks flamed red, and I looked away.

“Never mind, it doesn’t matter. It’s his damn fault, anyway.”

How typical of Kyo. Blame the rat. But… I love Yuki, and I almost did something terrible to him. Despite what Kyo said, it was all my own fault. I’m the one who wouldn’t leave him alone. I’m the one who allowed myself to go Black and almost hurt the one I love.

“Oh, stop feeling guilty, would ya?” Kyo snapped. “You can’t control yourself when you go Black. Yuki knows that.”

“I could have hurt him, Kyo,” I whispered, flinching at my broken voice.

“He can take care of himself.”

Kyo’s hand pressed against my cheek, and I looked up at him. His hand slid to the back of my neck, and he leaned in, hugging me tightly. He was trying to comfort me, and for that I was grateful, but I couldn’t let him get too close. Not after what had just happened.

“Kyo…” my voice cracked. “Kyo,” I said again, more firmly. “Please, don’t. I – I’m scared… of myself. If – I – I don’t want to hurt anyone, and-”

“I can take care of myself, too,” Kyo growled, glaring into my eyes as he spoke, and then, he pressed his lips hard against mine.

At first, I didn’t know what to do. I was so shocked. He was kissing me. Kyo was kissing me. The only coherent thought I could muster was ‘Why? Why is he doing this? Doesn’t he know I love Yuki? Doesn’t he know that Yuki keeps rejecting me, and that I’m not worth it? Why is he doing this?’

When he finally pulled away, that’s what I asked him. I just blurted out all those thoughts.

He crawled over me, pressing me to the grass. “Just because that damn rat can’t see what’s in front of him doesn’t mean you’re not worthy,” he muttered, angrily. “I don’t know what you see in him, but, even if you love him, that doesn’t mean you can’t like anyone else, right?”

Kyo was right. I knew I shouldn’t have been so surprised. He isn’t as stupid as he seems, but I was surprised. It took me a moment, but eventually, I nodded. Something wasn’t right. Kyo was acting strange. I’d never seen him so open before.

“What about me, then? Do you like me? Even though you love him?”

Suddenly, I understood. He was asking for acceptance. Where I wished for Yuki’s love, Kyo just wanted to be accepted, for someone to acknowledge him. I smiled. Maybe this was exactly what we both needed.

“I do like you, Kyo,” I whispered, hooking my arm around his neck and pulling him down to kiss me again. Only, this time, I opened my mouth and let him kiss me properly. Our tongues entwined with each other, and I could taste him within my mouth.

Maybe I couldn’t have Yuki, but that didn’t mean I had to be alone, and Kyo didn’t have to be alone, either.

Satisfied, I stopped analyzing the situation and let it happen. By the time we separated for air, my lips were swollen and probably very red. Kyo’s cheeks were tinged with a faint flush of pink. He looked so innocent for a moment, staring down at me as though he couldn’t remember how that had happened. Then, his fingers pressed softly against my lips, tracing the texture, and then spreading across my cheek as he leaned in close to kiss me again.

It felt good to be in the arms of someone, anyone. For the first time, I realized that love or not, I didn’t have to be with Yuki to be happy, to feel good.

Kyo’s clothes rubbed against my body, teasing my nipples, which were growing more sensitized with every brush of his tongue against my own. The hardness inside his pants pressed against my naked erection, and I groaned into his mouth, arching upwards.

“Kyo,” I breathed, gasping again for air.

I slid my hands up into his hair as he bent over my neck and began to suckle and lick, occasionally biting my skin softly. My hips bucked against his, and I moaned, loudly. He was no virgin. How many times had he done this in his search for acceptance? Had he been with other Sohmas, or people who didn’t know about his curse?

Suddenly, his tongue flicked over one of my peaked buds, and I stopped thinking. Little thrills of pleasure coursed through my body as he took one nipple into his mouth and rolled the other between his fingers. I knew that I was making some strange sounds, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I whimpered and mewled as he abandoned my chest and dipped lower, kissing a trail down my belly, slipping his tongue into my navel, and then continuing down to where my erection lay in a patch of wiry, multi-toned curls.

A wave of pleasure sent shivers up my spine as he licked a long swipe up the underside of my aching cock. His tongue swirled around the tip, and dipped into the slit there, wringing a train of expletives from me.

I took one glance at him with his lips fastened around the head of my erection, and then squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I knew that if I looked it would all be over in a heartbeat. Who knew that Kyo, the cat, could be so fucking erotic?

However, as he began to bob up and down my length, drawing me ever closer to a much needed release, it wasn’t Kyo that I saw in my mind’s eye, but Yuki. I’m so ashamed to admit that even when being pleasured by someone else, I couldn’t get Yuki out of my head. It was with the thought of his beautiful violet eyes closed in concentration, his tight lips sealed around my shaft that I came, crying out as I spilled my seed into the mouth of another.

When I opened my eyes, Kyo was lying beside me, his head resting on my chest. “You really are pathetic; you know that?” he said.

I didn’t have to ask. I knew that I’d called out Yuki’s name in my moment of bliss.

“Damn rat,” I sighed, only half joking.

Now, as I lay here, stroking Kyo’s soft, orange hair, I can’t help but wonder how I can make it up to him. He looks up at me, his eyes still darkened with lust. Smirking, I slide my hand down his chest, tweaking a rosy bud on the way. The material of his shirt shifts over the sensitive spot and he squirms a little. My fingers continue down, and play over the bare skin of his hips, teasing him before I barely trace the line of his hardness.

I undo his fly and reach into his pants, running my fingers up and down the shaft in more of a flutter than a caress. He moans softly, and the sound sends a thrill to my own spent member. I wrap my palm around him and begin to stroke in earnest, swiping my thumb over the tip.

His breathing quickens, and his lashes flutter against his cheeks as his eyes fall closed. He stretches, just like the cat he is, and I can feel his breath puffing against my neck, accompanied by a desperate whine from the back of his throat.

I stroke faster, and he arches into my hand, thrusting his hips shallowly. Taking pity, I squeeze a little harder at the base, softening as my fingers slide up to the tip and clenching again on the way down.

He’s so close. It’s easy to tell by his broken whimpers. Very softly, he whispers my name. I reach around, trailing my free hand around his throat, caressing his taunt chest, pinching his hard nipples.

He gasps loudly, and climaxes in my hand, biting at my earlobe; kinky cat. That hurt. But he makes up for it, curling against me in the most adorable way as I lick his spilt essence from my fingers.

Mhmm, I hate myself. I really have done something unforgivable. I’ve gone and fallen for the stupid cat, as Yuki would say. What would my prince think? Would he even care?

“Haru?” Kyo mutters, his lips grazing my throat.

“Yeah?” I ask, staring up at the starry night sky.

“Aren’t you cold?” He runs his hands over my bare skin, and I shiver, although I don’t think the night air has much to do with it.

“No,” I answer. “But let’s go inside, anyway. Mind if I stay the night in your room?”

“I guess I’ll put up with it,” he sighs, sounding for all the world as though a great burden has been placed on his shoulders, but as he pushes to his feet, our eyes meet. “Come on.”

He holds his hand out to me, and I gladly take it. After all, I can’t wait around forever for a fairytale prince who has his own princess. I guess I’ll just have to settle for Puss ‘n’ Boots for now.

The End. [And all lived happily ever after, ridden with angst. *grin*]

This is the part where people usually beg for feedback, but I find it tedious. So, if you want to review, then do so. If not, then my begging probably wouldn’t make a difference anyway. *shrugs* I don't deny that your review would make me happy, though. ;)